Getting Back Into the Sing of Sings

This afternoon I dashed out of job #1 a little early and headed up town for a quick and much-needed voice lesson. I had been away for so long that I felt like I was going to rust up and forget everything that I had already learned. I was truly excited for today's lesson - even though it would just be a quickie - I really needed to do this for myself.

Given the time crunch, I made sure to come prepared with music in hand as well as a list of music I needed to cover for some upcoming auditions. As I've said before, my teacher has a veritable library of music in his apartment. He's got everything! For months I've been trying to figure out the name of a song so that I could ask him for the music - well, what a waste of time that turned out to be when as I discovered all I needed to do was sing less than 3 bars of the song and he knew exactly the one I was talking about!

Ask and you shall receive! I must have come out of my lesson with sheet music for another 9 songs (not including the pdf file for Sondheim's "Another Hundred People" which he just emailed me tonight.

After all of the song stuff was out of the way, he took a listen to "A Way Back to Then". It's definitely getting better & it felt good to sing it for him again. The one area that I'm having trouble with is the high "kick" - but he showed me a few tricks to get over that little hump & I think with a little more practice, I'll be golden. The high non-belt is coming along quite nicely though. I also was trying to remember to smile through the song. Unlike the incomparable Heidi Blickenstaff, I was not blessed with high cheek bones - so I have to make a concerted effort to look pleasant when I'm singing. It's not hard to smile when I sing this song because I really love this song.

It's good to know that even when times are a little tough, I can still find something to smile about.

See Me, Hear Me!!!

Now that the weather is getting warmer, more and more folks are beginning to emerge from hibernation. What does this mean for us actors? Well, for one it means a heck of a lot more of us turning up at Open Calls. During the colder months people are far less likely to roll outta bed bright and early to sign up for slots - why, I remember just a few months ago feeling a fool to get my ass over to Actor's Equity as soon as the monitors opened up the sign-ups because hardly anyone was around. I probably could have slept in an extra hour and still had my pick of times. Well dear readers, those days are over, for today when I arrived around 9am to a call at The Public, I was almost surprised to find that I was one of hundreds who had flocked to the call. Equity and non- Equity alike flooded the lobby of the theater patiently waiting for a number. It wasn't before long that I overheard some actors talking about how some of them had gotten in line ad early as 6:30 in the morning! Whaaaat??? So that's what it has come to. Seeing as all of the Equity time slots had been filled & they were into the two-hundreds on the standby list, I left & headed up town to another audition. Unfortunately by the time I arrived the future looked just as bleak. All of the slots had been filled and so I put myself down on the standby list and headed into work.

It just wasn't to be this afternoon, however I had one last audition to check off my list.

One of my favorite musicals of all time is "Tommy". One of the regional theaters in Brooklyn is putting it up & I was chomping at the bit to give it a go. I left my post at the telesales job early so that I could make the 45-minute trek out to Prospect Park. The audition went pretty well. I did about 20 bars of "White Rabbit" and then the director asked if I had anything else - "I have 'Smash the Mirror', I replied. "Let's hear it!" he said.

I left the audition satisfied that after my third and final attempt, I was seen and heard. We'll see what happens from here.

Submission for Maude-ition

Tonight I submitted a newly fashioned headshot and resume to the Upright Citizens Brigade for their upcoming sketch team auditions. They're in need of a few good actor/improviser/impressionists for a couple of new teams they're putting together - so I wanted to throw my hat into the ring. I've got a handful of descent impressions & I've been through their training program, so hopefully that will warrant an audition slot. One can never be too sure with these things. I dropped my carefully crafted improv resume off this evening and seeing the pile of actor submissions they've received thus far made me realize that it's another gamble. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that some how this I'm holding the winning ticket!

Singer Review

I've been doing a lot of self-evaluation of late. I suppose it's only natural for one to look inward and reexamine themselves after encountering a few roadblocks along the way. This afternoon I did some soul searching and net surfing. I found myself watching youtube video after youtube video of singers and Broadway performers belting out beautiful songs. I wanted to see what the popular kids are up to. What is really out there in cyberspace is almost as important as what's out there on the Broadway stage. It seems to me that so many people gain popularity and notoriety over the Internet these days. I plan to make more of an aggressive move to make my web presence known by singing at more Open Mics and posting videos of the performances. I'm a little shy of doing this type of thing because it really makes you vulnerable to those who make a hobby out of mocking others. On the other hand, there's a good chance that people might just like what they see and hear.

That 70s Faux

This afternoon I youtubed some 70s Game Show - mostly I found myself watching old clips of "Barker's Beauties" from The Price is Right...creepy! When I had had gleaned quite enough information and inspiration from the web, I rummaged through my closet in search of the most 70s-like frocks I could find. I proved to be the right person for the job because I emerged with not one but three dresses, two of which are actually vintage dresses circa 1970s. Not only that, in my most recent shoe binge where I purchased four fabulous pairs of Steve Madden shoes at 15 bucks a pair, I had the forethought to scoop up the most amazing pair of white patent leather, oh-so-seventies wooden platforms. Fifteen dollah! Top that! They were too good to pass up and to my credit I knew that I would find a use for them. No time like the present when dressing up for the past! That's what I always say!

Apparently there is no end to my & array of costumes because I even managed to produce a long, blond polyester wig from the back of a drawer stocked with odds and ends.

When I arrived to the venue in the Village - the guys running the show were pretty impressed with me, but I will say that I was definitely a little overly prepared. Sadly the gig wasn't quite as cool as I had hoped it would be. The performance space was a tiny 11 by 20 foot room lined with cruddy old leopard-print carpeting in the basement of a bar. Having participated in a number of bringer shows and independently run improv shows in the past, I've performed in some pretty crappy spaces, but this one was especially dismal. Despite all of the warning signs that said tonight's show wouldn't be one for the books - or the resume, I embraced my role as the bimbo game show gal and proceeded to change into my costume which consisted of a faux pucci metallic dress, polyester wig and the patent leather platforms in the shady unisex bathroom. I got a few sideways looks from the upstairs bar patrons while prepping my wig, but oh well, I thought - I'm a performer!

When I emerged from the bathroom/changing room, it was show time - but we still had an empty house and no comedians. I sat awkwardly at a table while the host went upstairs to drum up some unwitting audience members. The nonplussed cocktail waitress warned me to watch my wig around the candles. Everything in this room wreaked of sadness and desperation. In fact the whole room just plain old wreaked! Moments later when the host returned with the first two audience members that he had plucked off the street he instructed the waitress and I to applaud "for the first new people of the night." Ay yay yay! Welcome to Awkward Town, Population: me! I was instantly reminded why I had parted ways with the standup community so long ago. People were reluctantly straggling in from the bar, performers were canceling at the last minute less than 10 minutes before the start of the show... sheesh!

I felt sorry for the guys running the thing - and when the standup comics started making fun of the thing in their sets, I started feeling even sorrier for myself! I wasn't sure how I was going to get through this show with my own dignity in tact, but it wasn't as if anyone but my boyfriend knew who I was, so who cares if I'm just making a fool of myself?

Initially the agreement was for the guys in charge to buy me food and drinks, but at the last minute they decided to throw me forty bucks! Sweeet!

I had had my fill of the place, so I took the money and ran! It wasn't the best gig ever, but it's the first one I've been paid for in a while - so I'll take it!

Marching On

Another Friday the 1 and another less than stellar day... but I'm hanging in there in every sense of the word!

When I didn't hear anything from the AWP about my resume submission, I decided better to be safe than sorry, so I gave them a call to inquire within.

Thankfully I reached the contact person immediately and she opened up my email and examined my resume, pointing out a few needed corrections and making them for me herself.

"This is a good resume and I'm going to submit you for this position. It was smart of you to call."

Apparently her in box lit up like a pin ball machine with responses to the listing. There were 58 submissions in all and I was a fortunate one out of a total of three people that she was going to submit for consideration.

"You may get a call today," she said. My whole body started to tremble with anticipation. I never would have imagined that I would reach the point where a day job would make me quake with excitement. The pay isn't even that great, but it's a 9-5 or 10-6 job and they're even forgiving of those who need to go on an occasional audition here or there. Also, there's health benefits! Right now, this is my dream job!

Throughout the day I kept fantasizing about getting this job and what it would mean to me: being able to pay my bills &rent with more money left over at the end of the month to put away in a saving's account and pay off more of my debt. I'd finally be able to call up my parents that I got a "real" job. In the meantime, I'd still be able to keep auditioning for shows and if and when I got a gig, they would hold my place for me by hiring a Temp!

I mean, could this job be any more brilliant?!?

Unfortunately I didn't hear a peep from anyone today in regards to setting up an interview and so needless to say this put a real damper on my mood today. I returned to my telesales job feeling quite deflated and to top it off, barely managed to make a sale all day.

Tonight after my shift, which usually ends at 7:30 on Friday, I unwittingly volunteered to man the kiosk inside the theater

Ah well - I'm not giving up hope yet. I think I may give the AWP a call on Monday morning just to see if they have any other clues as to what I should expect.

In the meantime, I'm going to try and enjoy my weekend...yes! another weekend has arrived

Picking Up Pictures

Due to my new and not-so-improved hectic schedule it wasn't until today that I was actually able to pick up the duplicates of the headshots that I had ordered last week. They came out as well as I had expected. They are really good shots - they're just black and white - so they show their age because of it.

I wish that I didn't have to feel like I'm committing a Federal offense by handing a Casting Director a black and white photo - but until I scrape a few extra dollars together, that's just the way it has to be!

I wish that my new job seemed more profitable, but it's just the way it is. I've just gotta stick with it until something better comes along. Speaking of which: right before I left my office job to go to my telesales job I found a listing for a new job in my Actors Work Program newsletter. I quickly attached a resume and sent a reply to the posting without missing a beat! I'm not completely sure what this job entails, but it seems like it could be promising.

Keeping my fingers crossed for like the fifth time this week!

Appointing A Time

A few days ago I discovered a posting for an audition for a highly reputable choir in the area. I've been trying to find a choir to sing with for years - so I leaped on the opportunity to audition for them. I finally nailed down my schedule and sent an email requesting an appointment for an audition. I got a response almost immediately and now I have but two weeks to prepare an aria and a musical theater song that will impress them.

This makes me a little nervous because I haven't performed an aria in several years. I'm just now getting my head voice back into shape for legit music - but to sing an aria will require a bit more heavy lifting. It's time for a serious vocal workout!

The Hard Tele-sell

After yesterday's meeting which ended, sadly in disappointment, I had no choice but to face the cold harsh truth of reality: not everything will work out the way you want it or sometimes need it to. It's not that I had been counting my chickens before they hatched, but I was hanging a little bit of hope of this prospective laurel. It would have been nice to work for such a high profile studio - but unfortunately at this time they just cannot afford me.

Boo hoo.

Until such time I have resolved to keep plugging away and fighting the good fight. If anything I'm counting my lucky little stars that I have another job to turn to at all! It may not be my first choice, but it's a heck of a lot better than nuthin'!

I had a pretty productive day today at that job - managed to make a couple of sales that will help put me over the top and boost my salary from the measely minimum wage to an almost respectable $10 an hour. Ugh! I can't believe I'm saying this - but it has been several years since I've worked for so little. It's okay though! I'm not complaining, I'm forging ahead and feeling good that I'm doing my part for theater and the not-for-profit community. Heck, this is a reputable off-Broadway theater and this little stint, however long it may last should serve as a nice little notch of experience on my resume. I want to continue working for institutions such as these and some day be able to start one of my own. I'm looking at this job as not only a way to supplement my income but also laying down some good karma for my future endevors.

Taking Some Meetings

In light of everything that has been going on with me in my professional life, I'm keeping an open mind and exploring every avenue out there.

Last week my boss's friend who runs a reputable ballroom dance studio in Time's Square asked if I would be willing to work the phones for them from 6 to 10pm at night during the week. At first I thought - um, thanks, but no thanks - but after giving it a little more careful consideration - (and after a day of Telesales I became more open to the idea. So this afternoon I took a meeting with my boss's friend, her associate and her 16 year-old niece. Everything was going swimmingly: they had all kinds of fun assignments for me from event planning to web graphics and a monthly newsletter! And here I thought I would be doing was answering the phone!

Well, just as our meeting was about to wrap up we took a break and I took a phone call from the host of the comedy show that I'm doing on Saturday. He gave me the rundown of what's involved for the show and I'm really looking forward to it! I need to camp it up and look as 70s glam as I can. Too bad I don't have the blond hair any more.

It is an unpaid gig - but I do get dinner and drinks on them - and as broke as I am these days, I'll take it! However, should the show take off, they're hoping to get some corporate sponsorship like Red Bull so that they can compensate people accordingly.

One thing I'm learning is that the best way to get gigs is by word of mouth and through people that know you. Everything else is just a big ol' crap shoot!

After my call, we resumed our meeting and since I knew these people and was fairly comfortable bringing it up and didn't want to beat around the bush any longer, I asked about salary. I asked for a flat rate of a VERY and I mean VERY modest amount - just to supplement my current income, and to my surprise I was met with - "I'm not sure how we're going to pay you."

WHHHaaaaattt??? Then what the heck am I doing here? The Telesales job isn't necessarily occupation of choice - but hey, it's a job - and for now I'm going to have to stick with it because they are at least able to pay me something and I can't afford to work for free... unless that is, it includes drinks and a meal.

Rest, Relaxation & Recommendation

I was pretty beat after yesterday's marathon Music Video shoot & welcomed my day off with open arms. The only thing that I had planned for this day was to surf the net for more auditions, plan the week ahead and do some more writing. Sundays are perfect for those types of activities.

You can imagine my pleasant surprise when my phone rang at around 3 this afternoon, and on the other end was my friend who did the show at Joe's Pub. She really appreciated the convincing Bachelorette Party work I did for her show - so she was calling to see if I was available to do another little gig that she isn't able to do.

The gig, from what I understand, is a comedy show in the form of a 70s Game Show complete with stand-up comic contestants, a host and a Vannah White type (that will be me) parading around to keep things moving. No pay, I'm sure - but since when has no pay ever been a deal breaker? Especially in these trying times.

In any case it sounds like it could be fun and hopefully I'll make a few new contacts with some more fun and funny people in the process. Game on!

The Making of A Music Video

My creative life took yet another unexpected turn today when I found myself running around the Financial District in a "Snuggie" of all things - (in case you've missed the infamous infomercials: it's a fuzzy blanket with arms.) Today was part two of the Ukulele Music Video shoot that I unexpectedly signed on for last week.

Our motley crew convened at the Taz Cafe on Maiden Lane at 11:30 this morning for brunch before setting out to start shooting at the first location a block away. The song is that we were creating the live action for is called "Let's Give It To The Bankers" and so you might be able to imagine what it was we were doing hanging around Wall Street. The chorus of the song goes "We'll throw a shoe or two - we'll all shout 'Screw You!' and drive wooden stakes right through their hearts"

From that you might also be able to gather the type of actions we were filming around Manhattan. It was a lot of running around chasing blood-sucking Vampire Bankers, throwing shoes and then to top it off, driving wooden stakes into the sleeping Vampire Bankers' hearts.

They hired a make-up artist for the day to transform the Bankers into Vampires. They even rented a wooden coffin which we used at our second shooting location of the day in Uke's loft in Harlem. They really went all out for this!

Overall it was a pretty kooky experience, but it was pretty fun too. I'm eagerly awaiting the release of the song and the first cut of the music video. If all goes well I'll finally have something to put on one of those actors' reels I hear everyone talking about!

Eight is Enough!

I made it through another day of Telesales with my sanity still in tact! Even though the manager is somewhat of a micro-managing maniac, I found his BS easy to ignore. You know why? Because I don't care what this guy does or says. I can do my job without him nitpicking every little move I make. His huffing and puffing won't blow me down! And besides, it's only my second day - give me a break! I'll catch on!

If I know one thing, I know that life is too short to work for pain in the ass people like him - BUT if you have little options, and you absolutely have to: then you must do your best to obey their orders and do your job to the best of your ability without giving into their crap.

I felt like this guy wanted me to withhold information to people or lie to them in some cases. I guess "bending the truth" would be a more accurate description of what he had asked of me - but I'm not going to try to hamstring people just to sell them a set of tickets! I want to get people to buy tickets by being up front with them!

Perhaps that's why I didn't sell a damn thing in the four and-a-half hours I was there tonight. I got some good leads though, so hopefully Monday I'll make a sale.

When I left tonight, my new co-workers were gathered together outside the theater. "Don't worry," they told me, "He's like this with everyone."

[Sigh] Lucky me.

Later this evening performing TMUM was just what I needed to shake off the Telesales blues. We had a big cast of eight tonight, but we had a full house as well & we went BIG! For the first time in a while, I felt like we were a team! I think we had a great combination of players and everything just felt right! It was just an all-around fun show.

No Casting Director in attendance tonight unfortunately, but I've still got more shows in store and songs to sing.

Making Up Rehearsal

Tonight the TMUM cast met up for another rehearsal. It seems we're trying to meet at least once a month or so. I guess the idea is to practice song structure and exchange ideas about the show.

All of these things are helpful and nice, but I still feel like without a director, there's only so much we can do to improve ourselves as a team. Most of tonight's rehearsal was spent practicing tag line songs and scene into songs - all of which had mixed results.

What it all comes down to is: we need a real director! Someone who can give us clear feedback and direction! Otherwise it's a waste of our time and $12. I think that I expressed this sentiment as directly as I could in the phone conversation I had with the leader of the show last week. I don't really know what else I can say without stepping on some one's toes. I just don't feel like I'm in the position to offer up any more feedback than I already have - but I'm hoping that another member of the cast who is more on the level will speak up - and do so sooner than later.

Online All The Time

This afternoon I continued my day job search and sent out several more job applications for various administrative positions. I'm not giving up hope - but the clock is ticking. I need to have something in place by the end of this month before I'm in real trouble. I'm not sure that my new Telesales job is the real answer to my prayers. For now, I'm just gonna have to hang in there with it until something more profitable comes along. I spoke to a friend of my boss's today about working the phones for her at her dance studio - I'm supposed to meet with her on Monday afternoon.

It's a helpless feeling, and I am determined to turn things around. I perused some more online job listings and registered for other part time freelance work. I'll do just about anything, short of prostitute myself. I do enough of that trying to make it in the entertainment industry anyway.

Typed Out and Duped

It has been a few weeks since I've been to a proper casting call - things kinda slowed down in the auditions department over the past couple of months. But happily, now it looks like things are starting to pop up again and it looks like the start of Spring has sprung some good opportunities!

Feeling greatly encouraged, I headed out to a call this afternoon. The studio was flooded with girls, each one lovelier than the next - when I learned that they would be "typing." Ugh! I hate that. They basically line you up and send you into a room 20 at a time to be gawked at and examined by the Casting Director and her cronies. It's probably one of the most reprehensible aspects of the Open Call process, but I know that it has to be done. I don't imagine that the people on the other side of the table take much pleasure in doing it and I don't take their rejection of me personally, I know it's just the business of the business.

There was a glimmer of hope for a moment before they announced all of the names of the six or seven girls that they wanted to see. They seemed to be lingering a bit longer on my headshot & considering keeping me - but it turned out that they were listing several reasons why they should not. (sigh)

I returned to the bathroom to change back into my street clothes feeling a bit deflated. Flat out rejection doesn't feel so good. I was in good company though. A lot of lovely & talented girls were sent away along with me.

On my way out I ran into a couple of fresh-faced recent grads from my Alma Mater, The University of the Arts. One of them thought that I had just been accepted to the school. Well, that made my day a little brighter!

I took advantage of the time leftover by going to get a bunch of my headshots reproduced at Reproductions. Granted, these shots are a little older and show their age by being black & white, but they're good shots & doggonnit it's my only option right now!
I only hope that Casting Directors won't hold it against me for not living up to the trend of color. For now I'll have to settle for these black & whites before I can afford them - but in order to do so I need to start making a lot more green.

First Day Bitters

Tonight began the introductory period to my additional survival job of Telesales and Fundraising. In a word it was awful. I haven't had to resort to telesales since sophomore year of college. Even then it wasn't as bad as this. I had somehow blocked out just how sucky it is to call people in the middle of their family dinners to ask them if they'd like to buy theater tickets. Ugh! With every one's stocks plummeting to an all-time low and unemployment at an all-time high, it comes as little surprise that people are tightening their purse strings and refraining from renewing their theater subscriptions. At the same time - there's gotta be someone out there who can still afford to support the arts!

After about my 20th "No" or even more polite, "I wish that I could, but I just can't right now" of the night - I found it hard to suppress the horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. No one can afford this stuff any more! No one wants to subscribe - how will we fill these seats? How will art survive? How will I survive if all I can manage to rake in is a pitiful $8.75 an hour in this dark and depressing place???

Calm down - I told myself. Now is neither the time nor the place for a panic attack. Especially not in front of these embittered folks who are placing calls right beside you and having just as much luck snagging the next subscriber as you are.

From my fluorescent bulb-lit kiosk, my future looked pretty dim. It can't be as bad as this. Something has to turn around and right soon!!!

When 9pm rolled around I had never felt more relieved. The past three hours had seemed like an eternity, but I can't quit yet. I have to give it another chance on Friday. In the meantime - I'm kicking up my job search to eleven!

Here Comes the Bachellorette!

Tonight I got to play make believe for my friend's show at Joe's Pub. (At the risk of letting the cat out of the bag - the name of the show shall remain anonymous) The show changes every month and often there is audience interaction, but sometimes those members of the audience are ringers. Like tonight, for instance. A few of us girls got all dressed up and pretended to be bachelorette party-goers out for a girls' night on the town. I got to play the role of the blushing bride-to-be. I only wish that I had gotten a picture of myself with my pretend engagement ring and a toilet paper veil. Thanks to the show I got to live out the stereotypically girly fantasy of what it's like to be engaged. (grin)

The star of the show referred back to us several times throughout - and even lead the whole room in congratulating me on my impending nuptials. Ahhh fantasy can be fun!!!

The show was hysterical and I think that all of us girls helped it get off without a hitch... or with a hitch. whichever!